yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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