You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
