He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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