So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The power of my boobs compel you
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.