we have officially lost it.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house