Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
