every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
