YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
