I only kidnapped one of them. chill
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
