the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
