We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
