We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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