I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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