It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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