i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
