So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need a beard to bite.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
