I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This is my gift to your gina
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
