Plan B is the new Plan A
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
