Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
