dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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