Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
