As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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