We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
