omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
