if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
