I puked a lego.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
