what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
