its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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