No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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