She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
