I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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