i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I forget how to act sober
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
