they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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