ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
