My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
