TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
