you would pick up someone in the library
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
