My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
