i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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