thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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