White coat. Heels.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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