"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
