just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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