I feel like I'm in dance class right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
