we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
