I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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