I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
