so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My dick has a subreddit
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
