I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
