Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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