Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is my gift to your gina
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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