I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
