we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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