We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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