currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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