you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
