i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there was a trapeze. enough said
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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