She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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